How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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