pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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