There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
