living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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