i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize