it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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