Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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