Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
