U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
