We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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