spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm at about main and main street
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize