similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
