Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
