Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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