you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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