great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
