so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
