Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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