please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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