I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
