No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
