Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
