Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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