I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
