Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize