i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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