The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
