So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
