We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Did you pee in the oven last night??
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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