woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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