I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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