Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you didnt know i had herpes?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
