Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
