TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Is Oprah even human
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
