i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
