Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
