You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
