So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Randomize
