either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
