Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
