Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Is Oprah even human
I'm sobbing to NWA
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
