Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
