good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
is wine microwaveable?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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