She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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