my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize