So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
