I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
she peed on how many people?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
