you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
