He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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