Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
