Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
