i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize