allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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