you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
