So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
