Having a random hookup so left but love u
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
