wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My vagina is very pro this idea
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
