marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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