He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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