your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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