Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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