I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
