piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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