on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You made out with two different species that night
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
