areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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