ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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