I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize