Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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