God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
