Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
