I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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