I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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