Your dad touched me again.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
