He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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