I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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