He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
