I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
