The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
