god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize