I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
