would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
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