I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
