Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I forget how to act sober
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
