she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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