It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
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