sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
two words: eviction party
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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