Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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