She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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